My Pastor Got a Stripper Pregnant Read online

  My Pastor Got A Stripper Pregnant

  Quan Millz

  5StarLit

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Epilogue

  Please Leave Me A Review!

  Acknowledgments

  About Quan Millz

  Prologue

  “YASSSSSS! Slob on dat cat, passuh! Eat dat shit, old nikkuh! You like how that cat taste?”

  “Hell yeah, guhl…”

  I bit my bottom lip hard.

  “What it taste like? Tell me,” I moaned.

  I held tightly to the sides of Pastor’s head with my hands as he relentlessly devoured the fuck out of my guts.

  “Shit, taste like candied yams, guhl. And not that nasty ass shit in a can. I’m talkin’ fresh yams. Wit all types of marshmelluh, cinnamon, brown sugar…”

  He paused for a moment and ran his big, bell pepper nose from my clit to my ass, taking a long whiff.

  Bitch, my pussy juices overfloweth just thinkin’ of how this old nigga was soooo fuckin’ NAAHSTAAYY!

  Pastor Wilson moaned and then said, “…And butter. Just like how ma grandmama’nem used to make it. Back in Hattiesburg.” “But, guhl, you know, I just love the way yo lil qoo-chie smell,” Pastor chuckled in his thick and deep Mississippi accent.

  Without hesitation, he went back to slurping and sucking on my lil puss.

  He slowly caressed my inner thighs with the ends of his fingertips. It was crazy, too, ‘cuz I was still so muhfuckin’ blown by the fact that this old nigga had polished fingernails. I noticed that shit when I first met his ass. If he wasn’t a Pastor, I’d think this nigga was a fucking pimp. Shit, Mee Ling did an excellent job buffering them nails though. Might need that lil asian hoe’s phone number so I could book an appointment.

  As the so-called man of God continued to suck my sinning soul out of my sexy ass body, my legs shivered nonstop like I was having a seizure. Bitch, go get me some CBD or somethin’ ‘cuz I swore I was seconds away from squirting all over this man’s beard.

  “You like that, huh?” the Bishop moaned among the incessant whooshing sound of his succulent slurps.

  “Shhh, don’t talk. Just keep eatin’ that lil pussy. Wrap them big, black lips around my clit, old nicca…”

  I threw my head back and sunk it into the pillow. My eyes closed and now, I kid you not, all I could see and feel was heaven.

  My hands gripped the bed sheets as Pastor Wilson’s clit sucking seemed to intensify. Oooh, speaking of which – I just knew Maria or Jose was gon be mad as fuck in the morning when they come in here and have to change these muhfuckin’ sheets, bitch!

  My thick ass legs were wide open like a football field, and now I had this old, crusty ass nigga playing in it like he was a quarterback. Except, Pastor Wilson wasn’t running a ball; old fuck nigga was running his tongue in and out of my pussy AND my ass.

  That nigga was truly an MVP. Somebody come give this nigga a ring and induct his ass in a pussy-eating hall of fame!

  Shit, truth be told, this nigga was like OJ. And yes, OJ…’Cuz this old Morgan Freeman-lookin’ ass muhfucka was murdering my clit. Even with all types of scripture laced in his tongue. Heaux, I was shooketh right now! You hear me!

  Nothing but the sound of pussy juice slurps filled the cognac and Newport-smelling air. The slurps bounced off the walls of the dark, musky motel room, mixing in with both of our nonstop moans and groans.

  I couldn’t believe this seventy-year-old man was eating me out like this. In all of my days I ain’t never had a nigga have such perfected head game. This shit was amazing. Here I was, twenty-three-years-old, thinking that someone’s nasty ass, ‘bless the hands of the cook’-praying, worms-havin’ granddaddy wouldn’t dare know how to handle some young, tender pussy.

  Chapter One

  “BITCH, I NEED SOME HENNY AND A PLAN B! BITCH, I NEED SOME HENNY AND A PLAN B! That jam was my shit! Them hoes was crazy as fuck for making that song. Them lyrics rolled off my tongue so seamlessly.

  But back to business…

  “Ayy, bitch! Is you ready or not?!?” I yelled out to my bestie, Kiara. I was ready to get the mothafuckin’ party started. It was just about that time, too.

  A bitch was dressed in a bedazzling, sparkling silver bustier with a matching thong. Let me tell you somethin’ here, bitch! I was looking just like Selenas getting ready to make some Messicans iddy-biddy bong-bong! Except for tonight I was about to make a nigga cum-cum!

  Unlike Ms. Quintanilla, I wasn’t just gonna sing and dance though. Bitch, I saved that shit for the club. Tonight, I was about to work and twerk this fiyah ass pussy saddled between my thick, tatted thighs on this clown.

  I was gonna have this nigga’s fat, lame-ass so gone off my pussy, I wasn’t just gonna be paid for the night. I was gonna be set up for the rest of my life! So, yes, bitch, it was on!

  Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know what the fuck ya’ll thinking. “Oh! So, that’s the shit she on? She a lil nasty ass hoe!” Oh so fucking what! Yeah, I was selling pussy!

  See, half you busted, broke ass, dumb ass, expired weave-wearing, bad-bodied ass hoes be selling pussy, too! And then ya’ll don’t even be selling it for the right price!

  Some of you wack ass, dry pussy-having hoes be out here selling yo pussy for a five-dollar box from Popeye’s and some garbage ass weed! Bitches out here suckin’ dirty, STD-infected dicks for stems and seeds. And then the other half you basic bitches be giving pussy out for free!

  BUT NOT ME!

  Bitch, I ate good AND smoked good! I could get any nigga to take me to Red Lobster or Pappadeaux’s without having a nigga feel like he entitled to get something back from me…unlike the rest of you silly ass hoes.

  Shit, truth be told, if I wanted to, I could get those same clown ass niggas to eat my pussy AND ass for free! Yup! I could get a nigga to slide his tongue all down my ass like he was looking for a missing, winning lotto ticket! So, I’on need a nigga for NOTHIN’! NOTHIN’.

  Oh…And before I forget –

  Let me just say that you bitches who just be giving pussy away…ya’ll some Salvation Army Food Pantry ass hoes. Giving yo pussy away like its canned collard greens. Got me ALL the way fucked up!

  But look, I’mma leave it at this. ‘Cuz a pussy ass hoe could nevah! Real bitches do what they gotta do! And the only thing that mattered to me at the moment was using these God-gifted gooey guts to make some fuck nigga empty out his pockets and run me my money.

  So, tonight, like every other night was all about business. No pleasure at all!

  By the way, my name is Nashawna, however, everybody, for the most part, call me NuNu. My stage name is Storm though. I chose that name ‘cuz my pussy can get so wet that I’ll flood a nigga dick out like Hurricane Harvey.

  I am twenty three-years-old. I am straight from Englewood – the South Side of Chicago. But now, I stay out east on 47th street. I got one son. His name is Darquayvious. He is three-years-old. However, he don’t stay with me ‘cuz my momma was on some fuck shit years ago. So, her stupid ass had him taken away from me. His daddy locked up.

  Yeah, I knew I could take my ass down somewhere and get a “re
al” job. But a real ass job was never for me. I needed fast money. Everybody told me growing up I could dance, so, right after high school, I took my sexy ass down to The Factory, a gentleman’s club on 119th. I auditioned and started working that night! I been doing that since I got out of high school. Now, don’t get me wrong. The money was good for the most part. But hey, when a bitch need some extra cash, like I said, I was more than willing to sell some ass.

  ANYWAYS…

  I had just finished taking a shower. Now, I was staring at my fine ass self in this motel’s bathroom mirror swiftly finishing my makeup.

  A pink lace front bob wig I bought just a day ago adorned my head, pairing well with my sugar cookie-colored face. Kiara, too, was finishing getting ready.

  Tonight, we was finne mess with this nigga named Darryl. He was this fat ass, lame ass nigga from out West who was a low-key dope boy. That was what he told me. I met his greasy lookin’ ass some time ago at the club.

  For the last month or so, he had been tryin’ his hardest to link up with me. I was reluctant at first. Although the nigga look like he had vienna sausage for a dick, I was so turned off by his size. The nigga had titties bigger than me. On my son, I swear this nigga had titties the size of cantaloupes sitting on his chest. Nigga had a belly so big, you would’ve thought his ass was pregnant with triplets.

  Every time I’d see him in the club, my skin crawled. But last week, I finally caved. When that fat, ugly ass nigga told me he’d pay me and another girl five stacks to fuck his brains out, I didn’t even hesitate to accept his offer. Five stacks?!? Really?!?

  I immediately told Kiara about his deal, and, of course, her ass quickly agreed to come along with me. Shit, her ass had better, too. She do got five kids from four different niggas and NONE of them were on child support. I didn’t know why bitches be doing that to themselves…

  Don’t get it twisted though. I really wasn’t hurting for money per se. Dancing at The Factory was good money…that was when the dope boys and ballers came through. But when they didn’t, only old ass niggas stingy with their pension and social security checks came through. And those old niggas always gave a fucking attitude when they had to pay $20 just for a lap dance.

  Darryl just texted me not too long ago and said that he was gonna be here within fifteen minutes. I glanced down at my phone and saw that it was nearly midnight. We had five minutes left to get ready.

  “Bitch, I been ready! The fuck is you doing?” Kiara shouted back.

  I could see from the motel room’s mirror she was sitting on the bed watching TV. “Good! I’m just about done,” I replied.

  We had no time to spare. We had to make sure everything was perfect. Our outfits. Makeup. Wigs. Bitch, we even took our asses to a Korean spa up in the burbs to get them yoni steams. Shit, you always gotta make sure ya pussy is right and tight. Them steams will snap yo shit back into place like you twelve all over again.

  Darryl told us to meet him at the Fitzgerald Suites, which was this raggedy ass motel on 79th street. He told me to go ahead and get a room and he’d pay me back. I didn’t mind though. It only cost $50 a night to stay here because this place was nasty as fuck.

  Spider webs hung in the corners. I swear I could hear the sound of roaches and rats climbing within the walls. These were the other reasons why I was pressed as fuck to get this shit over with ASAP! This place was the fucking pits! The room smelled like mold, Newports, mothballs and unwashed ass.

  The room’s old ass TV barely worked. When we first got to the room, Kiara told me it could only pick up like three channels. Can you believe that it still had antennas like it was 1991 or some shit?!?! That thing was so big and bulky, it kind of reminded me of the old ass TV my Grandma had in her house. She’d used to watch her faves like In The Heat Of The Night, Family Feud, and other soaps on that clunky, big ass shit while she smoked squares and sipped Ripple. And now, ironically, Steve Harvey’s uglazz was actually blaring on the motel’s TV. Kiara was watching him yap off about some contestant’s answers on Family Feud. Side note – why that nigga’s lips look like that? I bet he could eat a mean pussy though...And probably eat it from the back. The mustache says it all.

  ANYWAYS…

  Chapter Two

  Once I finished putting on this last lash, this bad bitch here immediately stood up from the bathroom mirror and walked deep into the room. The room was dark so I went and turned on the lamp next to the bed. I looked at Kiara and roared, “Bitch, turn that shit off!”

  “Fuck for what?!? That nigga ain’t here yet!” she replied with a lil attitude. Her gaze was still attached to the TV’s cracked screen.

  I smacked my teeth and rolled my neck. “Bitch, we need to get the mood going!” I exclaimed. Oh no! See, this bitch got me fucked up if she thought this was gon be just easy, seamless money to make.

  “Hoe, you doin’ too much. Just chill, chica!”

  “BOO BOO!” I said clapping my hands. “We talkin’ five stacks! FIVE THOUSAND! Not five hunned! Yo section 8, food stamp sellin’ ass don’t got time to relax! Turn the fuckin’ TV off and let’s go over this shit again!”

  Kiara smacked her teeth as she grabbed the remote sitting to her side and turned the TV off. “Ok, so what you want me to do again? And do I really gotta fuck this man?”

  “UGHHH! Bitch, yes! The fuck?!? You think you gon get paid to just to look at him?”

  Kiara frowned. “Eww! I just cain’t, girl! I don’t know why I agreed to this! I’m scared that nigga gon crush me!”

  “Bitch, one of yo baby daddies is like four hundred pounds! Did he crush you?”

  “No.”

  “So, what the fuck then?!?” I said shaking my head. I swear this bitch was so unbelievably stupid sometimes. I don’t even know why I bothered to drag her special ed, Forrest Gump ass with me.

  Yeah, we were BFFs, but her ass was just so damn slow sometimes. Goddamn! See, I only let her tag along with me ‘cuz like I said, the bitch had five kids and was on the verge of getting evicted. I even helped pay this bitch’s cell phone bill from time to time.

  “Girl, you playing with fire! I don’t even know why you think this is a good ass idea!”

  “What?!?” I growled as I rolled my eyes and shot a scowl back at this retarded ass bitch. “Bitch, if you scared, why you tagged yo scary ass along then!”

  She looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. “’Cuz…I mean, I knew you was serious, but this shit sound a bit too serious for me.”

  “UGHHH!” I exhaled and rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “Look, bitch. Just play wit da nigga’s balls. Rub his taint or somethin’. Goddamn! I’ll just do the rest!”

  “FINE! Damn! Okay…,” Kiara replied with a scrunched face.

  By now I was agitated like a muhfucka and if she wasn’t my BFF, I would’ve been knocked this pussy hoe out. See, something told me just to bring Jessica’s ass with me. She was another dancer down at the club.

  Although she and I were beefing at the moment (over a nigga as usual – eye roll), I knew if I would’ve talked to her ass about tonight, she would’ve been game. And that bitch can suck dick, too?!!? Shit, I saw her ass in action just a few nights ago! I just knew Jessica would’ve never been all scared and shit like Kiara’s ass.

  I strolled over back to the bathroom countertop, grabbed my phone and then made my way back into the room. “Look, I know you too good for this, but bitch, you gotta think long-term!”

  “Yeah, well, this will be my first and last time doing this stupid shit. I’mma use my half so I can go back to school and get my CNA certification.”

  “What?!? Bitch, fuck school! You really gon clean shitty old peoples’ asses for a living?”

  “It’s a start,” Kiara said and shrugged her shoulders.

  “Bitch, just stick to what you know best. Suck some dick and make some real money, heaux. Now, YOU are doing the most.”

  “Girl, whatever,” Kiara said smacking her teeth. “You do you and I’mma do me! Let’s just get this shit
over with.”

  Knock! Knock!

  Just as I was almost two seconds from popping off on Kiara’s ass I heard two knocks on the motel room’s door. That had to have been Darryl. “Girl, get up!” I said in a growled whisper.

  I ran over to the door. I didn’t know why I didn’t even bother to look out the peephole. Soon as I opened the door, my face sunk.

  “Nashawana Spearman?” It was a fucking cop. Some tall white boy with a big red beard. He was dressed in typical Chicago PD uniform. He stood there, damn near filling up the entire door.

  “Yes…” I gulped. “What’s wrong?”

  Suddenly, he grabbed my right arm and yanked me through the door. “What the fuck?!?” Then he slammed me up against the outside wall next to the door. “Why are you doing this to me?!?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw another cop, a black lady, run down the hallway of the two-story motel. “You got her?” she asked as she approached the door.

  “Yeah! There’s another one in the room!”

  “WHAT THE HELL?!??” I screamed as the officer proceeded to slap handcuffs on me. “What did I do?!?!”

  “WHY IS SHE ARRESTING ME?!?!?” Kiara cried as the black female cop dragged her out of the motel room.

  “You ladies are under arrest!” the black woman cop announced as she slammed Kiara against the wall next to me.

  Kiara glanced at me with her eyes widened with fear. “OWW! THAT HURTS! WHY YA’LL ARRESTING ME?!? I AIN’T DID NOTHIN’!” she cried as the officer tightened the cuffs around her wrists.

  “ARRESTED FOR WHAT?!?” I screamed out, almost ready to fight this cracka off me! He was kind of cute though for a white boy…